As we descend further and further into this dystopian nightmare, I find myself retreating into art and pop culture. And yet, somehow, I still wish to be informed about what’s going on in Cleveland.

We don’t have to sugarcoat it: Things are a massive bummer and have been for awhile. It can be easy to tune out, even if you don’t necessarily want to. I’m just one person, but I needed an outlet for all this nonsense.

The goal here is to create a space that gives you what you want to know, with what you should probably know.

As a reporter, I mostly write about police accountability and housing justice. I also love sharing stories about local artists, such as comic book authors and musicians. I miss helping people find what they need, especially as technology keeps making it harder to find reliable information.

This newsletter won’t be perfect, but at least it’s a start.

As always, my inbox is open. Upbeat Nonsense is a work in progress and I hope you will help me shape it.

Happy reading,
Dakotah

P.S. If you liked this even a teeny bit, forward to a friend <3

Listen, it can’t be all upbeat all the time. So, I give you: Downbeat. Downbeat is your indicator that we’re about to drop the mood down (sometimes way down) into local politics. Content warning: mention of sexual assault.

More than ten years ago, high profile cases involving officer shootings of unarmed Black people² forced Cleveland into the national spotlight for its bad policing. As a result, the city has remained under federal consent decree and is yet to reach even a halfway passing grade, according to a 2023 report.

In 2023, Cleveland Mayor Justin Bibb hired Marcus Perez to lead the Office of Professional Standards, an office that investigates civilian complaints against police. Within months, staff filed complaints and multiple resigned. The city eventually cleared Perez of most of the charges, but required executive coaching, which he did.

In March, Perez delivered his cryptic resignation. He moved to Iowa, where he rejoined the Pentagon as a contractor, according to his LinkedIn. The position remains vacant today.

On Monday, Tremont resident Kayla Pincus took the mic in front of Cleveland City Council to accuse Perez of rape. She said that despite reporting the incident in 2024, the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office decided not to move the case forward in August of this year.

“I filed a police report saying that I was raped by Marcus Perez, the [former] administrator of the Office of Professional Standards,” Pincus told a room of city council and community members.

She also said that a two-hour explainer video about her experience reporting the case to the police would be available on YouTube. (Warning: The “overview” contains descriptions of sexual assault.)

Her recorded — and detailed — accusation also includes screenshots of text messages, police reports and an interview with Perez alongside his attorney, Kevin Spellacy.

Pincus asserted that the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office declined to even present her case to a grand jury, questioning the prosecutor’s explanation that they could not effectively argue the case over the very low “probable cause” standard for securing an indictment.

The Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office provided the following statement:

“After reviewing all of the evidence, including the victim’s complaint, which was filed eight months after the alleged assault, it was determined that the element of force required by Ohio law could not be proven. Therefore, the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor's Office could not present the matter to the grand jury and declined to prosecute,” Lexi Bauer, an office spokesperson, wrote in an email on Dec. 4.

This year is Cleveland’s 11th year under the consent decree.

Upbeat Nonsense reached out to the City of Cleveland, Pincus and Perez for comment. The web version of this story will be updated with any new information.

(Note: This story was updated on Dec. 5 to include a statement from the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office.)

Looking for comedy that doesn’t punch down? Snowflake Comedy Club is hosting its annual Greatest Hits Showcase this Friday, Dec. 5 at Sixth City Cycles.

Originally from Uhrichsville, comedian Leah Addison has called Cleveland home for about a decade. Rooted in the local arts community, Addison launched Snowflake Comedy Club in 2019 as a way to cultivate a more inclusive — but still funny — comedy scene.

“Everyone is unique, powerful and impossible to replicate. Our shows celebrate that,” Addison said. Snowflake also hosts free bi-monthly virtual workshops for aspiring comediennes.

This Friday, seven comedians are set to perform, each limited to a five minute slot or “tight five.” The line-up has been hand selected by the employees at Sixth City Cycles, a bike shop that hosts Snowflake’s “Spokes and Jokes” series once a month.

Grab your tickets ($18-25) to Snowflake Comedy’s Greatest Hits Showcase on Friday, Dec. 5 at Sixth City Cycles in Old Brooklyn. Doors open at 8 p.m and afterparty starts at 10 p.m.

While I can’t time travel out of this cursed timeline, Bury the Pines first album takes us back to a simpler one. Pre-save “Industry Plant” ahead of its release party this Saturday, Dec. 6 at Rialto Theatre.

“Industry Plant” is a snapshot of the internal struggles of each band member over the last three years. The album features songs about political gripes, the current state of the music scene and even lost love. Since 2022, the band has released five singles and all are featured on the album.

“We write what we know,” lead singer Marcus Smith³ said. “Our bassist is huge into prog rock like Rush. My solo stuff is funky and soulful. We also like anime, Japanese pop and rock. It’s a little bit of everything.”

When asked, “Why emo?” Smith laughed and replied, “Why not emo?”

Nearly all of the band members are from Northeast Ohio. Smith (lead vocals) is from Cleveland, Nick Fischer (bassist) from Parma, Mat Markuz (drummer) from Akron, Joe Skowronski (lead guitarist) from Cuyahoga Falls and Evan Hendrix (guitarist and audio engineer) from South Haven, MI.

Guitarist Skowronski chimed in, “We like to have a good time.” Everyone contributes to writing the songs and its very collaborative, he said.

Bury the Pines is seeking votes for “Best New Artist” and “Best Alternative Band” for the upcoming Cleveland Music Awards⁴. Smith is also hoping to secure a “Best Vocalist” nomination for his solo work. Nominations close Dec. 16.

Grab your tickets ($10-15) to the album release party this Saturday, Dec. 6 at the Rialto Theatre in Akron. Doors open at 7 p.m.

Still want more? Alright, here’s one last thing ;)